We are in full gear and have made it halfway through the 30-Day Husband Encouragement Challenge! For some of you, this challenge has been hard and daring. For others, this challenge has made your marriage sweeter and more intimate.
I want to encourage all readers to continue on with the challenge even if you do not see immediate results. The 2-3 week mark is typically around the time participants, myself included, start to lose interest in the challenge and let it fall by the wayside. Let’s finish this challenge with a bang and continue to encourage, love and serve our husbands. If this is the first time you are hearing of this challenge, we welcome you to join us at the halfway mark. Come along for the ride!
SNAPSHOT OF THE CHALLENGE:
- The purpose of the challenge is to encourage your husband!
- Your decision means that you truly want to be a blessing in your home.
- This challenge will also result in spiritual growth in your own life.
- For thirty days, don’t say anything negative to or about your husband. Also, say something positive to and about your husband each day.
I have posted days 16-20 below. Here is the link for the remaining days from Revive Our Hearts!
Day Sixteen: Your Life Companion
Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.” —Genesis 2:18
God says that it is not good for man to be alone. But the way some women criticize their mates, the husbands may long for solitude! Companionship and togetherness are foundational pieces to a healthy relationship.
God has made you a companion and helper for your husband, and part of being “one flesh” with him is the privilege of sharing and discussing personal needs and concerns. Thank God for that wonderful gift. Thank your husband for communicating with you and being your companion in this life.
If your spouse does not value you as his life companion as you wish he would, look for ways that he tries—smiling at you, asking questions, nodding his head when you speak, and so on——and then thank him for it. Perhaps he needs to be lovingly taught how to communicate. Women are often more naturally relational than men, so this may come easy for you. Be patient with him . . . and continue to pursue him as your life companion.
Action Step: Be his life companion.
Seek your husband as your life companion. Share the little things and the big news with him first. Make a point to plan time together, whether that’s an outing or time alone together at home. Affirm the ways that he is your best friend and how you are happy God has given him as your life companion.
A Wife’s Prayer
Heavenly Father, although my relational needs can only be met fully in You, I want my marriage to be all that it should be in this area. Would You grow us in companionship? Teach me how to value my husband as my closest friend and confidante. Thank You for my husband and the ways he does reach out to me.
Day Seventeen: The Home that Wisdom Builds
The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and the knowledge of the Holy One is insight.—Proverbs 9:10
Are you a wise woman? Do you open your mouth with wisdom, as Proverbs 31:26 suggests? As you continue in your 30-day challenge, remember that a wise woman encourages her husband.
Is your husband a wise man? Does he have a godly perspective that comes from knowing God and walking with Him in obedience? Does he have a sense of purpose for his life and vision for your home? Tell him how much this means to you. If your husband is not walking with God—or perhaps, does not know the Lord—you have the opportunity and responsibility to practice your faith and create a thirst for God. Thank God for giving your husband a place in his heart that only He can fill, and keep praying that he will turn to the Lord to fill that vacuum.
Action Step: Catch (or inspire!) the vision.
If you are not sure about your husband’s vision for your home, ask him, “Honey, what do you want to accomplish with our marriage and home in the years to come?” and “How can I help you accomplish that?” If he does not have a vision, your questions may inspire him to develop one!
A Wife’s Prayer
Heavenly Father, I long for our home to be built by Your ways and Your wisdom. Please pour out Your heart upon our marriage, that we might be a force for Your Kingdom work in our family, neighborhood, and community. Make our home a place of refuge and life, a place that honors You in all Your ways.
Day Eighteen: Show Your Playful Side
A joyful heart is good medicine. —Proverbs 17:22
Let me ask you a question: Do you have fun with your husband? Life is full of serious things—decisions to make, tasks to complete, work to do . . . and it can take all the joy out of our relationships. Are most conversations with your husband serious and task-centered? That’s a sure recipe for concocting a negative and critical spirit toward him. Instead of speaking negatively to your husband today, enjoy him! Encourage him! As you experience fullness of joy with God, share some of that joy with your husband.
Does your husband have a playful side? A great sense of humor? Is there a “little boy” that wants to escape from time to time, reflecting the joy in his heart? This is a wonderful part of who he is and a great strength. Let him know that you appreciate his joyfulness and his playful spirit. Find opportunities to join him in positive play times.
If your husband can sometimes be overly serious, coax him out occasionally for some play times. It will help him relieve stress and relax.
No matter which one of you leans toward the serious side, fun is needed to infuse joy into your relationship.
Action Step: Do something fun.
Think of something lighthearted for you and your husband to do. Fly kite, go for a bike ride, do an art project, play charades, make silly faces—whatever you can think of to show your playful side!
A Wife’s Prayer
Lord Jesus, so many times the pressure of life gets the better of me and I take everything so seriously. Help me to take joy in life, to be quick to laugh and find humor. Infuse Your eternal joy in our hearts and make our marriage a place where we have fun and laugh together.
Day Nineteen: Fearfully and Wonderfully Made
Read a wife’s description of her beloved in Song of Songs 5:10–16.
When you look at your husband, what do you see? Strong arms? Hairy chest? Firm hands? Big feet? Rugged chin? Wide shoulders? Compassionate eyes? Broad smile? Whatever his physical size, shape, or characteristics may be, the way you see him has a profound affect. Almost nothing is as devastating to a man as the belief that his wife finds him repulsive. Sadly, many women unwisely criticize their husbands’ bodies.
Have you ever considered how wonderfully God designed men and women? No matter how a man looks—by the standards of the world—a loving God designed them all, and they are all beautiful in His sight. Encourage your husband today by praising his uniqueness.
Criticism leaves scars, but encouragement can bring healing. Remember that today as you focus on your 30-Day Husband Encouragement Challenge.
As you look over your husband’s body, from the tip of his toes to his bald or bushy head, thank God that your husband is “wonderfully made,” then admire your husband verbally.
A Wife’s Prayer
Heavenly Father, today I praise You for the way You knit my husband together. You do all things well, so show me the beauty of my husband’s physical form and teach me to be tender with the body You’ve housed him in. Forgive me for criticizing Your work and for aligning my expectations with our current cultural standard. Put in me a spirit of acceptance and love for the uniqueness of my husband.
Day Twenty: Time to Dig out Those Bitter Roots
Be kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.—Ephesians 4:32
It’s time for some heart examination. At this point in the 30-day challenge, it’s possible you’ve found some roots of bitterness that are contaminating your relationship with your husband.
Do you understand that as long as you are unwilling to forgive your husband—by God’s grace and in His power—you will not be able to encourage him? Your own resentment will keep getting in the way. Now is the time to deal with any unforgiving attitudes you’ve stored up against him. Forgive him, even as God has forgiven you.
Is your husband a forgiving man? Does he keep short accounts of your problems? Express your thankfulness for such a man. Does your husband seem to harbor grudges against you? If so, could there be things you need to change? Do you possibly need to ask forgiveness for an offense?
No matter how your husband handles his heart, you are called to freedom from bitter roots. Take time today to dig them out and remove what’s contaminating your relationship with your husband and with the Lord.
Action Step: Start digging.
Spend time in prayer, asking the Lord to show you the roots of bitterness in your heart. Make a list of them, asking God to forgive you for your resentment. Then choose to forgive your husband and recommit to encouraging him for the remainder of the challenge with a clean heart.
A Wife’s Prayer
Heavenly Father, I have sinned against You in my judgment and resentment against my husband. Forgive me for taking Your place and refusing to love. Fill me with love and compassion for my husband. I choose to walk by Your Spirit for the remainder of this challenge—please help me to be the wife You long for me to be.
My hope is that this challenge will center our hearts on praying for our husbands often. Someone once said that it takes 21 days to turn something into a habit. I hope this challenge turns into a way of life for many of us, instead of just a one month challenge. My prayer is that over the course of time our marriages will be renewed, healed and strengthened in Christ through the power of love, prayer and encouragement.
Thank you for joining in! Follow me on Facebook every morning to learn how the challenge is going for me and share your experiences as well. I look forward to journeying with you!
© Revive Our Hearts. Used with permission. http://www.ReviveOurHearts.com.
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